la la land..

Huh?

thwack

Doppelgänger

My third visit to the horrors presence was by far the most eventful...
24th March in Manchester lead me to some serious head injuries but a good hour hanging around with Faris outside the venue having a general chat... slightly surreal.
Before the show i spotted Rhys, Josh and Joe having a cigarette and DJing for the crowd in a booth next to the stage. I felt naturally that i should be a part of the fun so suspended myself with my elbows on the opening to the booth and very politely asked Mr Webb for a cigarette, which i received. Yay.
During Gloves, Faris came across a large milk crate from somewhere, which in his infinite wisdom, he believed would be a good idea to throw into the audience, or more precisely, at me. Well i obviously went down for the count and found myself a distance from the stage being propped up by three random people. When i re-gained consciousness i had a chat with Taz, the theremin player from The Kreeps. I finally found my friends and i spotted Josh and Faris stood at the side of the stage so i went over and said hi. Faris apologised for knocking me unconscious, which was nice and after some photographs we let them be.
We got to the train station to discover our train did not exist, so we decided to be hobos and go back to the venue, where we chatted with some random scottish band. Then a Roadie came up to me and said "you're with the horrors, you've got shit loads of gear to put away..." to which i laughed, naturally. (this wasn't the first time i had been mistaken for Faris...) but then i realised if the roadie and gear where near by, surely the band where as well. And just as predicted, the horrors stood just round the corner, so i went over to chat, met them all, then all except Faris left for a club so we hung around chatting with Faris.
What a night
Alex Preston
alex_preston2202@hotmail.co.uk

a banana a day keeps the doctor away?

On March 19th I went to Los Angeles to visit my family. I found out that the Horrors were playing at The Echo (and obviously I HAD to go). So my father (of whom is the BEST and I love), drove me nealry 40 minutes across town to find this venue. As we drove up I saw a few of the Horrors and completly lost it and started screaming at him "LET ME OUT OF THE FREAKING CAR OH MY FREAKING GOD THE HORRORS JESUS CHRIST LET ME OUT OR I WIL SCREAM LET ME OUT!!!!" I was trying to pull on the door to get out in the middle of the street but he wouldn't let me. Also there were many scary hoodlums and hobos near by. So we finally found a spot and got out only to walk right past them on the sidewalk (I really had nothing to say to them after all that! lol) We walked up to the club entrance and the bouncer stopped us asking for our IDs (I'm only 14) but I played like I forgot my ID at home. The bouncer wouldn't let me in but my dad said that we should hang around a while longer in case anything might happen. So then Tomethy Furse walked past me to the club entrance and they asked him for his ID, he said "oh, I'm in the band playing tonight." So they let him in. Then Coffin Joe and Joshua von Grimm walked near to where I was and I turned tot hem and said "hey, do you guys think you could possibly get me in? I don't have my ID with me!" Coffin Joe said "oh, shit.....hmm..well, I don't really no what I can do. Fuck. *he pulls out his ID holds it up and says* well, if you can look like me then you can use this and get in. *he sort of laughed*. So we walked over to the bouncer that wouldn't let me in and Joe said "Hey, so she can come in right?" "Does she have an ID?" Me-"Well I've left it at home but...." Joe-"But she's with us and it's alright to let her in." "No ID, no entry, I'm sorry." Joe-"Oh, come on. Just let her in. Look here's her ID right here *flashes his*. Me-"Yeah, that's definately mine. Look, I've got the black makeup and everything!" (The bouncer just sort of rolled his eyes at me.) Then Joe says to my dad and me "Oh, Joshua's lost his voice tonight." Then Joshua put his arms around me and we started inching forward past the bouncer as Joshua was saying in his squeaky, little, raspy voice "C'mon, she's with me, she's with me...let us through alright. C'mon now..." And then the bouncer pushed us back! They weren't able to get me in. But later one of the bouncers (a NICE one, hehehe) suggested that we wait around to speak with the club manager. So we did. And she said it was all right if I went in, because my dad was there and I wasn't going to be drinking. So I got in and when the Horrors came on, Faris walked on stage eating a banana. He paced in circles whilst taking the first few bites out of the banana and then I could sort of tell he was looking to gete rid of it. (I just figured he would chuck it into the crowd) but I in order to get his attention to let him know that I was in fact hungry and would gladly recieve this half-eatten banana of his, I began to scream.....like I was BEING MURDERED, dying, suffering great pain. And it worked! He spotted me in the front and walked over towards that part of the stage. I opened my mouth and again screaming, making biting motions, and licking my lips. He stopped in front. Looked at me again, and shoved the banana gently down my throat. 'TWAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, thus far.

Hope you enjoy!

xxxDORIAN ELECTRA
dorianelectra@yahoo.com

Needle in a Haystack...

So how many have you lost sleep trying to find the album sleeve's secret message?

So you think you can dance...

A lot of my friends tease me about the way I dance, and when the "Sheena is a Parasite" video came out, the teasing got 100x worse since I pretty much dance exactly like "sheena". So at the Horrors Alternative Press SXSW show, I managed to convince the band to let me get on stage and dance to "Sheena." Well, when I was standing on stage, dancing up on Faris, he gave me a bit of a push and i went flying into the audience. I slammed my back and knocked my head. I had a concussion for 5 days!
-Sarah

Battle Wounds

I attended their show at THE ECHO in Los Angeles in March. The show was amazing and it was super refreshing to see some Angelenos dancing, let alone moshing! The show was concluded though with the lead singer singing an entire song on the bar and then taking the garnish tray off of it and pelting the crowd with cherries, limes, and martini olives. After the show a friend of mine came up to me bleeding profusely from his skull. Apparently he had been kicked in the head in the melee. I expected him to be at least a little miffed by the situation since it was on the verge of needing stitches. Instead he wore the gouge as a badge of honor and talks about his scar to this day with a sense of proud entitlement. Only at a Horrors show…
-Chris Franzen

Sugar and Spice and everything nice!

Last year we invited The Horrors over to our apartment for a cup of tea and some crumpets.

This is what happened.

"It's the cops!" *wiggle wiggle*

you can watch it here!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_lqTkVL0bPg

-Gurj

SXSW Stolen Transmission party!

So we were still dealing with the fallout from the "Elvis in Boston" incident (not to mention the bottle of wine incident in NYC) and were more than a bit nervous about what was going to happen during their set. During Gloves, which closed the show, Faris jumped down into the crowd and pulled a trash can up onto the stage. He threatened to through it into the crowd several times but didn't. Sarah and I moved to the front since we both lose total control when he screams "AND I JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!". As he screamed that line, I got hit in the face with a huge bin full of garbage, Sarah grabbed onto me and spun me around, I tripped over the can and got another bin full of shit dumped on me from the crowd. I was soaked with a nice mixture of stale beer and remains of various drinks from the night. IT WAS FUCKIN BRILLIANT!
-Rob Stevenson

I want to hear yourrrr stories!

Hey so everyone that reads this blog... I would love it if you could email me some stories that you have about The Horrors...an interesting story about meeting them, listening to the album, just any cool experiences you have about the band waxsealsandpadlocks@hotmail.com SEND MY WAY : )

Here is a story someone already sent me:

"So I gave a copy of the record to this guys Troy in Pittsburgh who runs a bar called Gooski's and plays in a Turbonegro tribute band called Trouser Snake. He played it at Gooski's before one of their shows and someone stole the CD player from the soundboard. They found the cd player in the alley behind the club. The CD drawer had been forced open and the disc was gone. Someone actually stole a CD play just for the Horrors CD!"

So yesterday...

Yesterday is the day I decided to start this blog. I knew it was meant to be when I went to my friend's apartment to go watch some cable TV (something I do not have). I was getting doubts at first because before going up to her apartment I got STUCK in her elevator with a chinese food delivery man. I was trying to crack jokes with him like..."oh hay if we get stuck in here for a long time at least we have food" he just kept looking at me and nodding. Then I was raising my cell phone to the sky then around the sides of the elevator to find service so I could send my friend a text message to let her know that I'm stuck, and I’m sure this man is thinking he’s going to die in an elevator with some crazy chick. Then I rang the alarm and the FIRE DEPARTMENT came with a truck with sirens and flashing lights (a bit dramatic don't you think?) and jaws of life-ed us outta that death trap, then I took pics of the sexy firefighters and decided to take the STAIRS! At the very moment I walked into the apartment I was greeted with her dog and the lesbian cat and COUNT IN FIVES ON THE TEEE VEEE!! I almost wet myself because not only was I seeing this video for the first time on a big screen and not like all choppy on youtube, it was from a subterranean that she had TIVOed! This means we could rewind, and rewind, and rewind and watch it over and over at our own leisure. This video is great for so many reasons, those little people in the corners signing the words (at least I think thats what they are doing, I'm no expert at sign language, they could be signing "this video sucks" for all I know, but anyway) and all the boys in their little TIGHT pants, and the foil on the walls, and the fucking lyrics are genius. Anyway, welcome to my blog!