a banana a day keeps the doctor away?

On March 19th I went to Los Angeles to visit my family. I found out that the Horrors were playing at The Echo (and obviously I HAD to go). So my father (of whom is the BEST and I love), drove me nealry 40 minutes across town to find this venue. As we drove up I saw a few of the Horrors and completly lost it and started screaming at him "LET ME OUT OF THE FREAKING CAR OH MY FREAKING GOD THE HORRORS JESUS CHRIST LET ME OUT OR I WIL SCREAM LET ME OUT!!!!" I was trying to pull on the door to get out in the middle of the street but he wouldn't let me. Also there were many scary hoodlums and hobos near by. So we finally found a spot and got out only to walk right past them on the sidewalk (I really had nothing to say to them after all that! lol) We walked up to the club entrance and the bouncer stopped us asking for our IDs (I'm only 14) but I played like I forgot my ID at home. The bouncer wouldn't let me in but my dad said that we should hang around a while longer in case anything might happen. So then Tomethy Furse walked past me to the club entrance and they asked him for his ID, he said "oh, I'm in the band playing tonight." So they let him in. Then Coffin Joe and Joshua von Grimm walked near to where I was and I turned tot hem and said "hey, do you guys think you could possibly get me in? I don't have my ID with me!" Coffin Joe said "oh, shit.....hmm..well, I don't really no what I can do. Fuck. *he pulls out his ID holds it up and says* well, if you can look like me then you can use this and get in. *he sort of laughed*. So we walked over to the bouncer that wouldn't let me in and Joe said "Hey, so she can come in right?" "Does she have an ID?" Me-"Well I've left it at home but...." Joe-"But she's with us and it's alright to let her in." "No ID, no entry, I'm sorry." Joe-"Oh, come on. Just let her in. Look here's her ID right here *flashes his*. Me-"Yeah, that's definately mine. Look, I've got the black makeup and everything!" (The bouncer just sort of rolled his eyes at me.) Then Joe says to my dad and me "Oh, Joshua's lost his voice tonight." Then Joshua put his arms around me and we started inching forward past the bouncer as Joshua was saying in his squeaky, little, raspy voice "C'mon, she's with me, she's with me...let us through alright. C'mon now..." And then the bouncer pushed us back! They weren't able to get me in. But later one of the bouncers (a NICE one, hehehe) suggested that we wait around to speak with the club manager. So we did. And she said it was all right if I went in, because my dad was there and I wasn't going to be drinking. So I got in and when the Horrors came on, Faris walked on stage eating a banana. He paced in circles whilst taking the first few bites out of the banana and then I could sort of tell he was looking to gete rid of it. (I just figured he would chuck it into the crowd) but I in order to get his attention to let him know that I was in fact hungry and would gladly recieve this half-eatten banana of his, I began to scream.....like I was BEING MURDERED, dying, suffering great pain. And it worked! He spotted me in the front and walked over towards that part of the stage. I opened my mouth and again screaming, making biting motions, and licking my lips. He stopped in front. Looked at me again, and shoved the banana gently down my throat. 'TWAS THE BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, thus far.

Hope you enjoy!

xxxDORIAN ELECTRA
dorianelectra@yahoo.com